30

A little over a month ago I turned 31. Having spent a full 30 years alive I started to reflect on what I’ve learned, how much I’ve grown as a person, and what’s truly important to me. So I thought I’d write about 30 things I’ve learned in 30 years. Here we go. 

1. Don’t let anyone tell you your worth. You know the path you’ve taken, right from wrong. No one is perfect and we must pick our battles, but never let someone demean you or make you feel less than. Keep a hold of your power. 
2. Boys are stupid. Men are stupid. Doesn’t matter the age. My Aunty Rocky taught me that in Jr High and it still rings true to this day.
3. Knowledge is power. Never stop learning, no matter what it is. 
4. You get what you pay for. Tattoos, hair, nails, product. A bigger price tag doesn’t mean better, but experience and talent has it’s value.
5. Bitches be bitches. 
6. Never measure your life based on other people’s accomplishments. “One woman’s affirmation of her life choices is not the negation of your existence”
7. Kindness costs nothing. Remember that.
8. Never underestimate someones intentions. There’s usually more there than you think.
9. Drugs are bad, but so are people. Addiction takes many forms. 
10. Consent is just that. CONSENT. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing or under the influence of. No means no, and you have the right to say no to anyone #metoo
11. Never change who you are for someone else. You are who you are and you should never try to fit someone else’s mold. If they can’t accept you then they don’t deserve you.
12. You are not responsible for other people’s actions, only your reactions. 
13. You are a product of your environment. Whether you’re exactly your environment or the opposite, it’s what created you.
14. MENTAL HEALTH IS REAL. Our brains and bodies aren’t perfect. Would you tell a diabetic to think about producing insulin? Then don’t tell someone suffering from mental illness to “just feel better”.
15. “I realized that in my downward spiral of hopelessness I was actually falling into a huge hole created by my absence of basic human graces. The most obvious was forgiveness. If I was wronged by anyone, in or out of the club, I had to be compensated by money or blood. There was no turning the other cheek. When relationships become a ledger of profit and loss, you have no friends, no loved ones, just pluses and minuses. You are absolutely alone.”
16. We regret the things we don’t do more in life than the things we do.
17. “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”
18. Never turn down free champagne. Or cake. Or cheese.
19. Invest in a skincare routine. I don’t mind getting older, just not looking older.
20. Come on. Women should be supporting women instead of breaking them down.
21. It’s true, the older you get, the worse the hangovers get.
22. “If you can’t tell the truth to the people you care about the most, eventually you stop being able to tell the truth to yourself”
23. On relationships: “Maybe he knows who you really are. Not your body in bed or your mind at work, but the secret you. The person you don’t want anyone to see, much less acknowledge yourself. A woman who is fucked up, and he loves you anyway. Isn’t that true love? Someone who will kiss your bruises the same way he kisses your lips, who’s on your side, not when it’s easy, but when it’s damn near impossible, when you yourself don’t think you deserve it.”
24. I don’t mind being alone, I just don’t want to seem insignificant.
25. “One must always be careful of books, and what is inside of them, for words have the power to change us”
26. Invest in good shoes. Those heels might be cute but your feet will be fucked up in 10 years.
27. “People don’t change, they just fool themselves into believing they can.”
28. Forgiveness should be for you. When you forgive someone that releases them. Make sure that when you forgive someone it releases you too.
29. Don’t make important decisions on emotional highs or lows. This also applies to cutting bangs.
30. “Everyone fails at who they’re supposed to be, Thor. A measure of a person, of a hero, is how well they succeed at being who they are.”

I’m full of one liners, quotes, and fun facts but these are truly some of the things I’ve learned.  Damn, it’s been crazy life but at the end of the day, I’m really happy I’m me.